belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
