Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
