i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
