im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
