Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
