He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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