I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
