uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize