Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
