I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
