thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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