if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
