I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize