And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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