my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
