I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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