I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
