how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize