but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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