I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize