that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize