I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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