I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize