Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
