just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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