My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
