my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize