I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize