Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
