I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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