Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
