Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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