i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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