it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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