1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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