Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
