I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you