Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny

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  (614): she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny http://tfl.nu/4cwi
  Replies (12) Good night (2893) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  god, a vagina is an amazing trump card

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  (775): god, a vagina is an amazing trump card http://tfl.nu/iuci
  Replies (6) Good night (3494) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.

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  (508): just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life. http://tfl.nu/x7zq
  Replies (13) Good night (3920) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??

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  (551): do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse?? http://tfl.nu/m371
  Replies (22) Good night (3533) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

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  (510): I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college http://tfl.nu/imp1
  Replies (22) Good night (1333) Bad night (5804) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.

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  (703): At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/dkbw
  Replies (24) Good night (1422) Bad night (2882) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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  (757): i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas http://tfl.nu/kf1k
  Replies (13) Good night (2914) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.

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  (732): Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/fesa
  Replies (5) Good night (2285) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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  (410): YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me. http://tfl.nu/lzgg
  Replies (4) Good night (1876) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.

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  (770): Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this. http://tfl.nu/8f5s
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way

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  (708): is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower? (1-708): head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way http://tfl.nu/d98n
  Replies (2) Good night (1347) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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  (605): I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD... http://tfl.nu/4wif
  Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~

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  (724): GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~ http://tfl.nu/ka83
  Replies (6) Good night (1602) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport

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  (515): So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport http://tfl.nu/uoc3
  Replies (9) Good night (552) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah. It's not just the beard either.

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  (412): she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe? (609): Yeah. It's not just the beard either. http://tfl.nu/x9o7
  Replies (8) Good night (798) Bad night (406)

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