don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
