So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."