and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
