he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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