Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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