Say something about gay babies.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
