The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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