what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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