Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
