JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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