I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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