i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize