I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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