Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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