god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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