Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You ruined the universe
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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